“Girl Bestfriend”



Homegirl, Bae, Boo, “Just a lil sum to do,” side chick, “Big head,” nun major, bussdown, fun girl, “my suh”

Lol, I wasn’t going to do one and not the other. As with a boy best-friend, a girl best-friend is simply the side bih. Or the bih that the nigga plan on fucking sooner or later. Along the lines of, “Ion want no relations, I just want your facial.” Throw away ass bih.

The designated girl best-friend is basically a bih whom voluntarily agrees to being a side chick. Usually people post statuses asking who wants to be one and yo ole thirsty monkey ass go liking it. Then wind up getting fucked on, then get mad when the nigga go to talking to another bih, but bih, you set yourself up for the finesse bag bih. Ain’t no obligations bih.

Funny thing is, people actually feel the need to have certain unnecessary roles filled in their lives. It’s completely contrived and superficial and serves no other purpose other than to appeal to and maintain ones status in the in-group. In this age of “talking,” a girl best-friend is virtually what a girlfriend is, but no no no, gotta have a “girl best-friend” too, at my girlfriend’s expense of course. This just the bih I go get some weak ass head from when you on your period. “Nun major.”

I drop free game on females all the damn time but they stubborn asses don’t listen. They genuinely think they nigga friends ain’t plotting; like they ain’t playing that “friend” role just to scroke that pwussy one time. I say the shit all the time. Niggas and females cannot be “just friends.” That’s a conflict of interest on his behalf lol. I shouldn’t be absolute about it, but majority of the time, the aforementioned is true. Unless the nigga gay, then you probably won’t get set up for the finesse bag, but even then, a gay nigga will jump bi real quick if its the right bih. Niggas is tacticians nowadays. They will play that “gay” role to drop that rod up in ya. Some of y’all would probably let the nigga smash and be like “he gay tho,” afterwards.

*Sips Vanilla Coke* 

Ole “what are we” ass bih. Goddamn “I remember everything” ass bih. “Bae, Wake up” ass bih. “Post me as your WCW” ass bih. “Let me smoke a black” ass bih. “I bet you start loving me, as soon as I start loving someone else” ass bih. Strawberita drinking ass bih. Tattoo on thigh ass bih. Hoe ass bih.


“Boy Bestfriend”



Bae, side nigga, fuck buddy, brother

The shit females always asking to have. Basically a nigga to dump all their emotional baggage on. HIGHLY┬áreplaceable. I’m talking by the day nigga. Usually unappreciated and only hit up when the bih “in her feelings” over another nigga. May be used to mend a broken heart and to confide in, or simply a nigga to fuck under a more socially acceptable title although details of any fucking is best not to be broadcast. Expected to bombard the bih with compliments and good morning texts. A deviation in routine “head boosting” equals being cut off.

In short, the current side nigga.

A yes-man ass nigga. Ole “I’ll eat yo ass” ass nigga. “Tag me in yo pic” ass nigga. “What’s yo kik” ass nigga. “Do my tbh” ass nigga. “Imma like all her pics so she notice me” ass nigga. “Match up” ass nigga. Take the bih to work and don’t get no gas money ass nigga. Hoe ass nigga.